When I was in my Freshman year of high school a mess up with my schedule put me in an Acting 101 class.  I didn't want this class and had never signed up for it so I went to my school counselor to get it dropped and get me reassigned to something more my speed like Wallflower 101 or something.  My school counselor told me that it was probably caused by a computer foul up and that I should just take the class and "Hey you might like it".  Now I was raised at a time when children were told to respect their elders, keep their mouths shut and do as you are told.  So I accepted the counselors lame excuse of a computer error put my tail between my legs and went to acting class.  For someone such as myself a shy person new to high school this was not an easy thing to do.  The class wasn't that difficult as most of it was the teacher showing us how to do pantomime and then calling students up to the front of the class to act out something that she gives us.  One of my first assignments was to pretend I was mowing a lawn.  Now I had mowed many a lawn in my time because it was my responsibility at my house to keep our yard in tip top shape so I knew how to mow a lawn.  Also being somewhat creative rather than just pretend I was walking up and down and pushing a mower I also pretended like I was filling it up with gas and having trouble getting it to start and had to pull the cord numerous times.  The teacher applauded my creativity and a star was born.  Well not quite.  Towards the end of the semester we were all assigned a scene from an actual play to do and given a co-star.  This was suppose to be our final exam.  I was assigned to do a love scene with a very pretty girl in the class, also a freshman.  This made me very nervous.  First of all, she was as, I mentioned, a hottie and I was tall, skinny and pimply faced.  In other words a nerd, a geek, a dork, a nottie.  Whatever word you want to call it that was me.  I am sure my lovely co-star in the scene was not the least bit thrilled with doing a love scene with me.  To add to my problems is the scene contained a part where I was to help her sit on a wall and then kiss her.  This was at a time in my life when I had never had a girlfriend and certainly had never even kissed a girl so you can imagine the anxiousness I was feeling.  Add to that was the fact that the scene had about 5 pages of dialogue that I had to remember.  I have never had to memorize so much stuff in my life and wasn't sure how I was going to do it.  So everyday I showed up for class and rehearsed my scene with the curvy brunette and every time we got to the part where I was to kiss her we skipped over it and moved on with never a word being said.  As our Christmas break approached and I was looking forward to two weeks off the teacher announced that we would all be doing our scenes the first day we get back.  What a way to ruin two weeks off from school.  I was in full panic mode.  How in the world was I going to memorize five pages of dialogue?  The only thing I could think of was repetition.  So I read my script.  Every day.  As often as I could.  Sometimes as many as 10 times a day.  The whole thing, both parts.  I didn't ask my family for help for fear that they would make fun of me for doing a love scene let alone being in acting class at all.  On the first day back from break, which began by me throwing up in the bathroom in the morning, the teacher started calling people up one by one to do their scene.  We had no idea in what order she was calling people so we all had to be prepared.  Part of me wanted to go first and get it over with but also part of me was relieved when she kept skipping over my name.  Towards the end of the class we finally got the call.  We both went up on the stage and just stared at each other for a second as if to day "Holy Crap!  What have we gotten ourselves into?"  My beautiful co-star looked at me smiled and said her first line.  Then I said mine.  Then she spoke.  Then I spoke and the next thing we knew we were acting out our scene.  We had a rhythm going and after a while I completely forgot their was an audience and we were on a stage.  We were just talking to each other.  As if the words were true.  As if they meant something to us.  We nailed our lines.  Got everyone right.  My idea of studying by repetition worked.  When we finished we both looked at the audience and got much applause.  To our surprise the audience had doubled while we were up on stage.  It seemed the bell rang while we were acting and neither of us noticed and we kept right on going and the teacher didn't stop us.  The audience was no longer just our class but the next one too and their teacher.  I ended up getting an A in the class but decided that the whole experience complete with vomiting and anxiety attacks was not for me.  As for the kiss.  Well when we got to that point in the script I looked at her and paused for a second and she looked at me as if to say "not a chance dork" then she said her next line and I mine and we skipped right over just like we had in practice.  So my first kiss was just going to have wait awhile.

Recently I had dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile.  It was a nice time as we ate junk food and got caught up in where we are in our lives.  Inevitably, I guess, we got around to health issues and we both talked about recent doctor visits and how we are health wise.  As I drove home from the dinner I thought to myself "Man, how did it come to this?"  Where you meet and old friend for dinner and you end up talking about the results of your latest colonoscopy.  "Oh my God," I thought, "is this how you know you are getting old?"  The more I thought about it the more I got scared.  There were other signs of old age creeping up on me and staring me in the face and I didn't realize it until now. 

-  I started shopping at WalMart because a breakfast bar I like is sold there 50 cents cheaper than the place I usually buy them.

-  When choosing what food to purchase I usually look to see if it is a low fat - high fiber product.

-  I drink only diet beverages with the occasional Classic Coke a special treat instead of an every day drink.

-  Every Sunday I go through the ads in the newspapers looking for deals on items I need to buy and I find myself cutting out coupons and using them when I go shopping.

-  I was over charged by $10 on an item at the store but didn't realize it until I got home and looked at my receipt.  I went back the next day and complained and got my $10 back.

-  I got mad the other day when I was driving and some kids were walking down the middle of the street on their way to school instead of using the sidewalk forcing me to drive very slowly and wait patiently as they seemed to go out of their way to walk slowly because they knew it was irritating me.

-  While I enjoy listening to new music by new new artists I don't think any of today's music is as good as the stuff I listened to as a kid.  Can anything compare to The Beatles, The Who, Marvin Gaye and the The Rolling Stones?

-  I think my tighty whitey underpants are the most comfortable underwear I have. 

-  I think there is way too much violence and sex on TV, at the movies and in video games and it is corrupting our youth.  It saddens me when I find out a 10 year old knows what sex is.  That is too soon.

-  While at work I got up from my desk to do something and once I got out of my office I forgot what it was I was going to do.  So I turned around went back to my desk and then it came to me 5 minutes later.  So then I got up a second time to do it and did it.

-  I have gotten into the habit of making lists before I go shopping because more and more I found myself forgetting to buy things I needed and then having to make a 2nd trip.  The list system works except when I forget the list at home or lose it and don't realize it until I am in the store.  When that happens I am on my own and invariably I will forget something I needed and have to go back and make a second trip.

-  I think it is ridiculous to pay big bucks for a shirt at a fancy store that has their name on it when a T-Shirt at WalMart is much cheaper and works just as well.

-  I think boys walking around with their pants really low and showing their underwear is a stupid look.

Still all is not lost.  While making this list I thought of some things that while may not make me young, make me young at heart.

-  Yes, Tighty Whiteys are comfortable but I still enjoy wearing boxers with cartoon characters on them.  It makes me smile.

-  I watched the Spongebob Squarepants movie on Nickelodeon the other night and found myself laughing out loud on numerous occasions.  It was the third time I have seen it.  My favorite scene is when Patrick is pantsed by Spongebob when the Princess shows up.  Embarrassed Patrick pulls his pants up and asks the Princess if she saw his underwear.  The princess says no.  Patrick then asks her if she wants to.  That scene never fails to make me laugh.

-  The next day after watching the movie I got out my copy of the video game and started playing it again. 

-  While I think there is too much sex and violence out there that is corrupting kids I also think that censorship is not the answer and that parents need to do a better job of using the tools that are available to them to lock their kids out of things they shouldn't see.  All TV's have V-Chips, cable boxes video game consoles have parental control built into them.   Parents should learn how to use them.

-  I still like to wear T-Shirts with cartoon characters and rock stars on them. 

-  I still giggle like a little school boy when ever someone says anything that sounds even remotely like a sexual innuendo, like when you find out that some ones name is Dick Hertz.

-   I still read the comics in the paper every day.

-  I get excited when a new Sci-Fi/Monster movie is coming out.  I am really looking forward to the new Star Trek movie.

-  The main pair of shoes I have are gym shoes.  I wear those most of the time.

-  I still laugh when I see a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

So while I may be turning into an old man in some ways, there is still a little bit of the boy in me and I hope it stays that way for a long time.

On Thanksgiving day, as I was driving to a house to have dinner, I passed by a local Best Buy and was dismayed to see people in tents getting ready to spend the night on the sidewalk so that they can be first in line to shop the next day which has now because known as Black Friday.  The next day I saw people interviewed at the stores on TV and they talked about staying out all night so that they can get the great deals, most of which, from what I saw people buying was big expensive TV's.  The people talked about saving $200 dollars or so on their purchases and that it was worth spending most of Thanksgiving day on a cold sidewalk to so that they could get their deals the next day.  I wanted to ask them was it really worth it?  Was it worth spending a holiday on a sidewalk away from your family just to buy a TV?  Isn't your time valuable to you?  Especially time spent away from family?  I wanted to tell them that things cannot bring you happiness.  That looking for joy in shopping and buying is just going to cause you to end up deeper in debt and still unhappy.  Lord knows I am as guilty as anyone in loving my toys and especially my TV but I know that I would give them all up for some happiness.  I also know that I would never give up family time to sleep on a sidewalk to buy a TV or anything else.  My time is more valuable than that.  Did I do some Black Friday shopping?  Sure, on the Internet on Amazon.com at about 6 in the morning while still in my PJ's.  That is the way to shop for me.

One day, during the summer, after spending a long day at work in a cold air conditioned office staring at a computer, I came home to a beautiful evening.  The sun was still out, the weather was warm but not too hot and as I got undressed I decided not to spend my evening sitting an in air conditioned house staring at a TV but instead I should go for a bike ride.  So I put on some shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt, since I knew I would be working up a sweat and didn't want to wear anything too warm.  I put on some ankle sweat socks, my new favorite.  I hate socks that go half way up the calf.  And I also put on some tight underwear to keep the "boys" from moving around while I rode.  I didn't want anything to get hurt down there from sitting on the bike seat which are very uncomfortable for guys no matter how much padding the seat has.    Ready to go on my ride I made two decisions, one was not to wear my bike helmet.  I decided this because I was just riding in the neighborhood, not going far, and thought what was the worst that could happen.  My second decision was to ride to the local department store and pick up a new video game that had come out.  This made sense because then I wouldn't feel bad about spending my evening staring at a TV and playing a game in an air conditioned house if I had gotten some exercise prior to doing so.  The one problem was I had to cross a busy street during rush hour traffic and I wondered if it was smart to try do it.  But I decided that as long as I was careful I should be okay.  After all I am a grown man and surely I can figure out how to cross a street without getting hit. So properly dressed, water bottle in hand, I got on my bike and set out for my summer evening adventure.  I crossed the busy street, no problem, took a back way to the store to make the ride a little longer, and made it uneventfully.  I bought the game I wanted and walked around the store some more just to window shop a bit.  Leaving the store I hopped on my bike and headed back home.  This time I took the straight route home, since I was anxious to play my new game.  When I came up to the busy street I stopped, and looked both ways. The cars were coming fast and furious but I saw a light changing to red down the road and knew that meant traffic was going to thin out for awhile but not for long.  The road was clear except for one car, an SUV, to my left that was slowing down and had its right turn signal on.  Thinking the car was turning I decided that this was my opportunity to cross so I got on my bike and started to pedal across and that is when it happened.  Out of the corner of my left eye I saw the SUV headed straight for me.  The car that I thought was turning didn't after all.  The driver slammed on his breaks and narrowly missed hitting my rear tire.  I hurriedly rode across the street and made it home.  Parking my bike in the garage I went in the house and sat down.  I was shaking.  Scared you know what less.  I ran the whole thing through my mind and I thought how in the world did misread that situation.  I could have sworn the car was slowing down and had its turn signal on.  Was I wrong?  Did I miss it?  Did I see something that wasn't there?  No, I thought if the driver wasn't slowing down he would have rammed into me right away.  The fact that I was actually part way across and he almost hit my rear tire told me that.  But still I screwed up.  I should have waited until he actually turned but in my haste to cross I didn't.  I would have been killed had he hit me.  I was wearing no helmet and practically no clothes.  I seriously doubt my tight undies would have protected the "boys" much from being hit by an SUV.   I realized that me dying isn't a big deal.  I have nothing and really am just a blip on the screen if that much.  I have no wife, no children, nothing that depends on me so I doubt I would have even made the obits in the paper had I been killed.  Still I was shaken. I thought about it all night and for days afterward.  I didn't even play the video game I bought that night.  I have yet to ride my bike again.

I went to the store the other day and upon checkout, after scanning all of my items, the cashier asked me if I had anything else to scan.  I said "No".  She said "you are all done shopping then?"  Confused I said "yes".  She then asked me "what was in my basket?"  I looked down and there was some shampoo I forgot to put in the belt to be scanned.  "Oh no" I said.  "I missed that one.  Sorry."  She looked at me and gave me a half-assed smile and said "uh huh".  I gave her the item and paid for everything took my stuff and left.  I was embarrassed that I had forgotten the shampoo but was kind of pissed off that the cashier acted like I had forgotten it on purpose. I mean really if I was going to steal something would it be shampoo?  Maybe people do.  I don't know but it doesn't seem like the kind of thing worth stealing.  Nowadays every time you walk into a store you are treated like a like a crook even though you haven't done anything.  All stores now have those big scanners at the door that alert everybody in the vicinity with a loud beeping noise if you leave with something that hasn't had the security tag removed or deactivated.  I always hate that when I buy a video game or a CD or something and the cashier doesn't properly deactivate it and it sets off the alarm when I go to leave.  I use to stop and wait until somebody gives me the go ahead to leave.  Sometimes they will take your item, have you walk pass the scanner and if it doesn't beep give you your stuff back and send you on your way.  It is like getting through an airport just to leave the store.  Do they want to strip search me too?  Pat me down?  Grope me?  It happens so often now I have learned to just keep on walking and ignore the beep.  If there is a security guard there I will stop otherwise I keep walking.  I know I paid and if they want me they can come get me.  I always hate it when those beeps go off and everybody turns to look at me as if they want to get a glimpse of the shoplifter.  It seems like stores are getting worse and worse about deactivating those tags and the beeping happens more and more.  Some stores also have security things in place when you want to try clothes on.  I was at one new store and I wanted to try on some pants but when I went to the dressing room the door was locked.  Some one saw me came over looked at my pants opened the door and then waited for me to come out to lock the door again and then check me out and made sure I had the pants in my hand.  It was quite embarrassing and could have been worse if I had unmentionables in my hand but fortunately I didn't.  Needless to say I never went back to that store.  Another thing is trying to buy a video game.  They keep them all locked up and if you want one you have to have someone, usually a 16 year old kid, unlock them for you and then they make you pay for it at the video game area and you cannot walk through the store with it and do more shopping.  One time I said I wanted to do more shopping and they said they would hold on to the game and I had to ask for it when I was ready to check out and then they would bring it to me.  Little did I know that it would take 10 minutes for someone to bring it to the register when I was ready.  In the meantime I am sure everyone in line was cursing my name for making them wait longer.  I once worked at a department store and I know what a big problem shoplifting is.  Although it seemed like half the people they caught actually worked at the store.  Despite it seems like stores all treat us like suspected thief's the minute we walk in the door even though we haven't done anything.  Whether it be security guards checking your receipt at the door when you leave, annoying beeping machines or locked dressing room doors.  I guess   I have learned to enjoy shopping online.  There are no lines.  Sometimes no taxes.  The selection and prices are usually better.  But best of all, no beeps, no 16 year old kids treating me like a crook and no dressing room cops.

I am going to break a long standing rule about blogging today by discussing politics.  The reason I do not discuss it is because I know first hand how it can cause rifts between people when they do not agree on a political point.  Like discussing religion people get very passionate about their politics and there really is no right or wrong answer in many of the discussions.  It is just how you feel about the matter at hand.  Besides that this is a blog about a nice guy in hiding not about my political views.  But today I am going to bring it up because I am getting fed up with people who spread rumors and lies via e-mail, specifically about the democratic candidate Barack Obama.  I have a friend who moved away a few years ago.  I was sad to see them go but I have seen a lot of friends come and go in my life and I have learned that very few friendships are permanent.  Life has away of getting in the way.  Since my friend moved away we keep in touch via e-mail.  My friend's e-mails can best be sorted into four categories.  One, is the personal notes about how they are doing and what is going on in their life.  Those are my favorites.  Two, are dirty jokes.  These surprise me because in all the time I knew my friend I never once heard them udder a dirty joke and they were often embarrassed if I mentioned body parts such as penis and vagina even in a non sexual way.  Often, asking me to change the subject.  Most of the dirty jokes are stupid as dirty jokes tend to be but I give them a quick glance before deleting them.  Still I am surprised sometimes at the content after I read them.  I just know they would never say these out loud.  I guess e-mails makes them less personal and embarrassing to share.  The third type is religious notes and sayings.  You know, Jesus loves you type stuff.  This surprised me too because in the years I knew my friend they never once mentioned god, faith or religion to me.  They never mentioned being a church goer or even having any religious faith at all.  Not even a God Bless You when I sneezed.  As for me I had a very strict catholic upbringing but I no longer attend church.  Seeing a loved one die a very painful and slow death despite numerous prayers on a daily basis to save them or at least end their suffering has a way of changing your perspective on such things.  Despite my personal feelings on the subject I don't mind getting these e-mails so much since I know how important faith is to people and how much it really comes from their heart when they send e-mails with that type of content.  The fourth and final type is the reason for this blog.  Evidently, based on their e-mails, my friend can best be described as a right wing religious conservative.  Again this is something I did not know about them.  The fourth type of e-mail they send is anti liberal pro republican stuff.  Some of it is mild pro John McCain type e-mails mentioning his war record and stuff.  Some of it though are really nasty anti-liberal jokes that just aren't funny.  The most recent one for example dealt with republicans using a liberal as bait to catch a bear when hunting.  Not only was it not funny but I found it to be offensive.  Then there are the e-mails that pass on lies about Obama.  Lies such as he is a Muslim (as if there is something wrong with being one anyway), he will not say the pledge of allegiance, or that he is un American because he will not wear a flag pin.  All of these things can be easily disputed with a quick Google search but I guess when you hate someone that much you aren't all that interested in getting your facts straight.  The thing is I know my friend has had lies told about them when they were here, not by me, but by gossip mongers so I cannot understand why they will do the same about someone else even when it is someone they do not know.  So when I get these e-mails I just delete them and roll my eyes.  Part of me wants to reply and say this stuff isn't true but I do not want to hurt their feelings or end up hurting our friendship.  Here is the thing.  If you do not want to vote for Obama then don't, but do it for good reasons because you think he lacks experience or because you do not agree on his political views.  If you tell me that you are not voting for him because of the color of his skin or his funny name then I have a problem with that.  Just like I would if you tell me that you are voting or not voting for John McCain because he is white or Hilary Clinton because she is a woman.  I just don't think those are valid reasons and I would hope that at some point we can move on from such pettiness.

I read in the newspaper about a web site called www.howcast.com which houses videos on how to do things.  It was started by a member of you tube who noticed that one of the more popular searches on was people searching for videos on how to do things.  When I went to the web site one of the first videos that shows up is how to make a memorable first kiss.  I watched the video and found it amusing as it was obviously aimed at a younger demographic then me but what caught my eye more than anything else was that after viewing the first kiss video a window came up recommending more videos and one of them was how to tell your parents you are pregnant.  I don't know why but that made me laugh.  Seems like they are missing a step in between the first kiss video and pregnant video.  I looked but did not see a how to use a condom video, a how to abstain video, or a no means no video.

In the there is a survey for everything on the Internet category, I came across a web site that asked women to vote on the type of underwear they like best on men and Boxer Briefs won, barely beating out Boxers.  I like Boxer Briefs but find that after a few hours the leg band loosens up and then they leave me hanging, so to speak.  I feel bad for the poor third place showing of the old standard white cotton briefs that many guys wore as youngsters.  I guess they are the male equivalent of a woman's granny panty.  I was surprised to see that bikini's did so poorly in the survey but I guess women don't like to see that much of their men.  At least the tighty whiteys beat the bikini's.  Which I am a little confused on since I have seen women get all hot and bothered and crazy over male strippers in bikini's and thongs but I guess for strippers they are ok but not for husbands and boyfriends.

One of the most painful things in life to experience in this world is a broken heart.  I have broken many bones, passed kidney stones and have spent more time than I really wanted to in a hospital but there is nothing more painful than feeling than liking a girl who doesn't like you back or who likes you but not the same way you like them.  More than anything else this is the thing that holds me back.  The feeling of rejection.  I have read many self help books and been given many a lecture by friends that rejection by someone you like is not to taken personal and that it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you and I know that is true.  But still why does it hurt so much?

I know I haven't been blogging much lately.  There are several reasons for it as I will get into in a moment.  The lack of ideas for blogs is not one of them as I have had lots of things going through my mind.  So I decided to do a brain dump and kind of just put them all down in a scattershot format just to get them out of my head.  I may expand on some of them later on but for now here we go:

When I first started this blog a few years ago one of my concerns was do I really want to put my life out there on the world wide web for all to read?  I had read newspaper articles about a woman who lost her job when she blogged about her bosses and that concerned me.  I started blogging but decided to remain anonymous and set rules for myself such as no writing about work and not to use names in the blogs.  Hence, people are referred to as the red head, the blonde, etc.  Recent events in the news that has me rethinking if blogs are a good thing.  In Florida some teenage girls upset over what a classmate had blogged about them ambushed her in a house and beat the crap out of her.  Even worst is that they videotaped and out it on a web site for all to see.  When they were arrested they showed no remorse and were more concerned about getting out in time for prom.  A copy cat crime so followed in Indiana.  In another state a woman pretended to be a boy and told a classmate of her daughters that the classmate would be better off dead.  So the classmate killed herself.  The woman is now being charged for the death of the girl.  She said she never intended for the girl to kill herself and she just wanted the girl to stop blogging.  What ever happened to sugar and spice and everything nice?  It is enough to make me want to seriously consider stop blogging.

While walking through the Men's underwear section of a local department store I noticed that Hanes was packaging their basic Men's tighty whitey as Classic Hanes and I thought to myself I wonder if calling them Classic helps them sell more.  I mean if it just said Hanes on it couldn't we pretty much guess that it was the regular white briefs that most of us guys wore as kids?  Do they think that calling in Classic makes the Tighty Whitey cool?  And if these briefs are classic then is there a newer version of the white briefs that is more modern, kind of like a new coke version of it?  And if so do they suck like new coke does or did (does anybody drink new coke and is it still made?)  And what kind of underwear do guys wear nowadays?  Boxers?  Briefs? Bikinis?  Judging by the amount of shelf space devoted to them I would say that tighty whiteys are still popular with boxers a close second and bikinis and thongs bring up the rear.  I don't know.  Guys don't talk about the kind of underwear they prefer like women do.  I have seen women even having a bra and panty party to buy underwear and I laugh because that is one big difference between  guys and girls.  As a guy when buying underwear after making my selection I sheepishly take it to the cashier hoping that no one is standing behind me eyeing my purchase and then laughing at my selection.  I couldn't even imaging doing it at a party.  Still I personally think their is no good underwear out their for guys that doesn't pinch you in the privates, leave you hanging or give you a wedgie and if there is I wish someone would tell me what it is.

When I am king of the world I am going to make it a law that all men's bathrooms must have privacy panels between the urinals.  Recently when at a movie theatre I had to go real bad after finishing a large (and by large I mean jumbo) coke.  I had been holding it because I didn't want to get up and leave during the movie.  When the movie was over I couldn't get to the men's room quick enough.  Once I got there I saw that the urinals didn't have privacy panels.  My shy bladder was telling me to use a stall but they were taken and I was about ready to burst.  So I stepped up to the urinal and tried to coax myself to just relax and go.  Eventually I did but it took a few minutes and considering how badly I had to go it was frustrating.  There are some sports stadiums that don't even have urinals but rather very long and large stainless steel sinks slightly higher than knee high and the guys all pee into it lining up like horses at a trough.  Talk about embarrassing.  I think this is close to barbarism.  Imagine, ladies, having a community toilet with no privacy stalls to separate you?   I know it is not quite the same things since guys do not have to drop their pants to pee, although, oddly enough I have seen guys do that but I think it was the alcohol that encouraged them. 

I have been reading about the demise of the music business and how record companies are struggling to stay in business.  Of course they are blaming illegal downloading and I do agree that is part of the problem.  But I also think you can blame the records companies own greediness too.  Recently at a store I noticed a greatest hits CD of an artist I like and it was selling for $14.99 and I thought why is this full price as if it was a CD of newly recorded material?  All they did was take these previously recorded songs and slap them on a CD.  Shouldn't they charge less for it?  And really should an artist be releasing a greatest hits CD when they only have had 3 CD's out anyway?  Another thing is there anything out there really worth buying?  Most of the new music I hear today stinks.  If I do hear something I like it is by someone who has been out there for awhile like U2, Springsteen etc.  Not that I am an old fuddy duddy but I just don't think today's artists are as talented as the ones from the past.    It seems like there are more one hit wonders today then ever before.  There doesn't seem to be any artists with the longevity that they use to have.  They release 2 CD's have one or two hits and then you never hear from them again.  And while we are talking about it I think it is hypocritical of the music companies to complain that downloading  is stealing when a quick look at the music history books show that record companies have been stealing from musicians for ages by robbing them of their rights to the very music they created. 

OK, that is enough brain dumping for now.

I walked into the building and approached the front desk as I do every time I arrive at the building. The woman behind the front desk takes out a clipboard from behind the counter and puts it on top so that I can sign in. She then turns and looks at the chart of room assignments that is hanging on the wall and tells me what room I am suppose to go to. A heavy set woman with dark hair she never smiles or says too much. She is all business, which is fine by me. I don’t really like talking to strangers. I have a hard time talking to strangers and basically just avoid it at all costs. I am really shy when I am around people I do not know. So the fact that the brunette doesn’t want to have small talk with me doesn’t bother me at all. After she tells me what room to report to I thank her and walk away. End of conversation. A week later I walk in and notice that instead of the brunette behind the counter there is a striking blonde haired young woman. I approach the desk and say Hi. She stares at me with a perplexed look on her face. Her eyes open wide and her smile, which reaches from ear to ear, gets wider. “Can I help you?” she asks in a tone that says to me that she is not sure what to do. I tell her she is supposed to hand me the clipboard on the desk so I can sign in. “Oh,” she says “today is my first day”. I sign in and then tell her to read the chart on the wall and tell me what room to go to.  She looks at the chart, tells me the room number and then punctuates the statement by sticking her tongue out of her mouth ever so slightly while smiling at me saying thanks.  It was adorable.  I headed off the room with a smile on my face.  The next time I visit she remembers me and says "Hi Bob" hands me the clipboard and while I am signing in she tells me the room number I am suppose to go to.  "You learn well Grasshopper" I said in a lame attempt at an old 1970's TV reference.  Of course the young girl had no idea what I was referring to but that was okay.  She smiled and said I taught her well and then stuck her tongue out at me again and turned me on.  We talked a little more.  Mostly stupid stuff but she laughed and I laughed and we had fun.  Don't get the wrong idea here.  I know she is way too young for me.  I know that she is a 10 to my 4 and way out of my league but that is okay.  It was harmless chatter and there is nothing wrong with that.  Until I noticed behind her was the brunette who usually sits at the desk.  She was there training the blonde.  As I chatted with the blonde I saw the brunette look at me like I was scum.  She gave me a look that seemed to say "Oh sure, you talk to her but you never talk to me like that".  As I walked away and headed off to the room I felt bad.  I never socialized with the brunette because she never gave me the idea that she wanted me too.  She never smiled, said Hi or even remotely showed any interest in chatting small talk.  If she was expecting me to initiate it well I am just not that kind of person.  It was nothing personal.  But something in that look told me that it was.  That she thought that myself and perhaps all the other guys who were talking to the blonde did so because she was hot and the brunette was not.  I cannot speak for the other guys but the primary reason I never chatted with the brunette was because she just never came across as being all that friendly.  Later on as I thought about it some more I wondered if the brunette's problems were due to a lack of confidence in herself because maybe guys have been ignoring her all her life.  As for the blonde she was use to the attention so being social came easier to her.  I don't know the answer but there was a part of me that felt like I needed to even the score a little bit.  The next time I went into the building the brunette was there all by herself and being all business as usual.  This time though I did something different.  I asked her how her day was going.  I chatted to her about the weather.  Just general small talk stuff but she answered me back and she even made a joke about the weather.  When we were done I wished her a good day and headed off to my room.  After that day whenever she sees me she says Hi and we chat a little.  I discovered that underneath the quiet all business exterior was a nice person who really wanted to talk.  Maybe like me she was too shy and just needed some encouragement.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and we were sharing the experiences we had in attending a catholic school.  I asked her if she too had mean nuns with rulers that hit the kids at her school like I did at mine.  She said yes but they only hit the boys.  She said she never saw a girl get hit.  I thought about it and you know what? She is right.  I have very strong memories of seeing boys in my school get hit with the rulers, myself included, but never the girls.  It was not like you had to be really bad to get hit either.  Talk in class and you got whacked.  Are you telling me that a girl never talked in class?  I think of this now after I had just read an article in the newspaper from columnist wondering why there has been such an outbreak of senseless violence in our society lately and why it was always boys behind the trigger.  It seems lately at least once a month that there is another shooting somewhere, either at a school or a mall, with no real explanation behind the shooting.  It seems like we are always looking for answers and explanations for these things so we can better understand them and come to peace at why it happened.  If the killer was a drug addict or was just a thief it seems like people can at least accept it more because there was a reason behind it.  Some times people blame mental illness.  I don't know but I would like to think that if somebody is going to kill other people for no good reason then they aren't normal anyway, whatever normal is.  To me one sign of normality would be someone who doesn't go around killing other people.  My dad was a drill Sergeant in the army.  I grew up at a time when boys and girls roles were defined in stereotypes.  Women did the cooking and cleaning and men did the physical labor, mowed the lawn, worked on the car.  Boys were told that only sissies cry and that pink was for girls.  Personally, I preferred to be in the kitchen helping my Mom bake cookies then helping my Dad in the garage.  He would only yell at me anyway when I did something wrong.  My Mom wouldn't.  she would just kiss me on the forehead and say "that is okay honey we can fix it".  Maybe that is why the boys commit such violent acts.  They didn't get enough kisses on their forehead from their Mom.

Everyday when I watch the news I am bombarded with images of war, lead paint in our toys from China and tainted food.  All of this stuff depresses me mainly because I have little faith on our elected politicians to do anything about the problems.  It seems to me that all they want to do is argue while they fight for power and money.  It seems to me that they if they would put their party allegiances aside and actually voted on what they thought was right, problems might actually be solved.  But that will never happen.  Still despite the daily depressing news I try to keep a happy face by focusing on the small things in life that bring me joy such as my family, the few friends that I have, my job and my relatively good health.  Despite this though there are things that happen every day in life, little things, which make me sometimes think we are headed down the wrong path.  Case in point: 

A few weeks ago I had to go to an elementary school to drop something off.  I was wearing a baseball hat of my favorite team that had just made the playoffs.  The principal of the school saw me and asked me to take my hat off.  It seems they don’t allow baseball hats to be worn in school because it could symbolize a gang thing.  I apologized and took my hat off.  Later on I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in this world that something as All American as wearing a baseball cap could be seen as something bad.  I have worn a baseball cap my whole life.  Whenever some artist wants to create a portrait of an All American little boy they always show him or her with a baseball cap on.  Check out pretty much any Norman Rockwell painting with a kid in it for example. But here at school they were banned.  What a shame that it has come to this.

A recent article in the paper talked about schools banning hugging.  It seems that it has become popular in school now for kids to hug each other when they greet instead of just nodding heads, shaking hands or just saying “Hi”.  The schools aren’t sure when the trend started but some point to a video on You Tube of guy called Jaun Mann going around giving out Free Hugs to strangers.  I wonder if it is because of all of those “Have You Hugged Your Kid Today?” bumper stickers you use see all the time.  I don’t really care how it started but I wonder since when are hugs a bad thing?  The school reps say that when students hug it clogs up the hallways and keeps them from getting to class on time.  It seems to me that the reps have some issues that they need to see someone about.  As a young man I was not much for hugging or touching but as I have gotten older I have learned that it can actually make you feel good and have learned to open up and embrace it.  I say let the kids hug!  How can that be a bad thing?

I did something nice for a woman I know recently and she became very suspicious of my motives.  She told me that usually when a guy does something nice for a girl without being asked they have an ulterior motive.  According to her the guy who does the nice thing is either sucking up for something bad they have done or they are just trying to get into the girl’s pants.  This made me feel bad when all I was doing was a nice thing just to be nice.  The world is a crappy place.  I figure you can make it a little better just by doing nice things for someone once in awhile.  I wasn’t trying to get into her pants as she suggested.  Now I am going to think twice about doing something nice for her ever again or any other woman for that matter.

And, god forbid, I give her a hug and wear a baseball cap while I am doing the nice thing.  That could be really bad.